Author Archives: debraannmcgill

                        This will be the last article in this first piece of my blog about the early months of grieving the death of a partner. It’s just past the two year mark since Alan passed away (2019) and nearly 32 years since Nick died (1989).  When I first began to write this blog a fewContinue reading “Time To End This Section of Blog, Thanks For Reading”

Desperate times do call for desperate measures and your first months after a death definitely fall into the category of desperate times.  Many people find that they feel much worse than they would ever have thought possible: exhausted and barely coping. The last thing you need to have happen is to compound the grieving processContinue reading “Positives- Force Yourself To Do Some”

                                             In the first weeks and months after your partner’s death, your life can feel like treading through a minefield.  The grief “triggers” are everywhere: in your home, neighbourhood, town or city.  All five senses bring back vivid memories and emotions can flood to the surface: the sight of a a piece of art thatContinue reading “The Minefield”

                                         There are so many ways that we communicate with each other: in person, by phone, by text, by e-mail or conventional mail, and through social media.  As a newly bereaved person, you may want to be self-protective in handling the visits or messages that come your way.  At first, you may have family withContinue reading “Awkward Encounters”

                          Grief is complicated. It’s not just sorrow; it’s a tangle of emotions. Grief can bring a reprocessing of the relationship you had with your partner and of previous sorrows as well. Past deaths and hurtful events can rise again to the forefront of our minds.  As I mentioned in an earlier article, it’sContinue reading “What’s in the Black Hole?”

                                   In January I’ll be back with regular posts but for now would like to make a few brief comments about December special events. Special days in general are usually very difficult for bereaved people. December is an emotional month for many, a time when various celebrations happen, including Hanukkah and Christmas.  Our family celebratesContinue reading “As the Year Draws to a Close”

                           Like many couples in our thirties, Nick and I were working on building a life, not worrying about the end of a life. Who’s prepared for the unthinkable to happen- the accidental death of a 38 year old husband (1989)? We had recently invested in a house and piece of property and Nick hadContinue reading “More about Wills and Estates”

In an earlier article, I said that I hoped you had a supportive family doctor to help you through the grieving process.  Something else that I truly wish for you is that you aren’t smacked with nasty financial problems after your partner’s death. I also wish for you that you and your partner have seenContinue reading “Wills and Estates”

The word “suicide” has a huge stigma attached and people are reluctant to tell others that the thought has crossed their mind.   However, it’s not uncommon for newly bereaved people to think about suicide in the first months. Let me be clear: this isn’t the kind of specific “red flag” suicide planning where a personContinue reading “Suicide and Dark Days”

In 2016 the Supreme Court of Canada ruled that it’s no longer an offence for a physician to aid someone end his or her life in certain circumstances. It’s an option available to people who “may be experiencing intolerable suffering due to a grievous and irremediable (incurable) medical condition…”   There are strict protocols and safeguards. Continue reading “My Thoughts on Assisted Death”