In January I’ll be back with regular posts but for now would like to make a few brief comments about December special events. Special days in general are usually very difficult for bereaved people. December is an emotional month for many, a time when various celebrations happen, including Hanukkah and Christmas. Our family celebrates Christmas but whatever your beliefs are, I hope you’re managing to get through your special days. Sometimes you can minimize what you participate in or choose to opt out but often you’re carried along with family plans or need to do the planning as usual and offer a smile with it. For me, at nearly two years since Alan has passed away, the decorations and traditions bring memories and regrets flooding back, the “Ghost of Christmas Past.”
Christmas is at present the worst holiday time for me to endure: the daylight is short and weather is wintry. Both times I’ve been widowed, it took three Christmases for me to feel lighter about the holiday season. However, this year is better than last year for me; that’s progress. This year has been an extremely difficult one for so many people, with COVID illnesses, deaths, and so much social isolation. Most people are weary of “virtual” visits and “Zoom” calls and morale is low. I won’t wish recently bereaved people a Merry Christmas- that would be ludicrous. However, maybe you can enjoy the pretty lights, a turkey sandwich, a funny old Christmas movie, or a glass of rum and eggnog. Enjoy what you can.
An uplifting day for me is the Winter Solstice, which happens to be today in the northern hemisphere and in June in the southern hemisphere. You likely know that this is the day when the shortest amount of daylight comes our way and winter officially begins. Various cultures celebrate the Winter Solstice as a time of hope, peace, and renewal. Mother Nature seems to take a deep breath. I mark this day on my calendar every year, knowing that the daytime now begins to lengthen and the light will return. Somehow this thought cheers me.
I can unreservedly wish you a Happy New Year! It will be a better year for you as you move forward through your healing process and perhaps new people will enter your life or new plans begin to take shape. I hope the COVID vaccines will begin to relieve our health worries and ease limitations. Happy 2021 in just a few days!
Twice A Widow 